[May 29] [Original] Burning

[grassangel]

Title: Burning

Day/Theme: May 29, 'blow out the candle, I will burn again tomorrow'
Series: Original (based on history)
Characters/Pairing: random woman
Rating: PG+
Genre: Dark

 

I am burning, fire eating at me slowly. It consumes me, not rushing as it corrodes away every part of me. Lapping at my skin, charring away the edges.
My vision is clouded from white; whether from pain or the fire I cannot tell. This place is beyond pain and though my heart has been wrenched from my chest I can still feel it rise and lurch in euphoria and disappointment.

There is noise in my ears as the crowd shouts and jeers. It is a celebration and I can almost smell the sweat, the beer, the bad breath of the villagers. They didn't hate me, never did; it is only the fact I was different and I thought for myself that I am up here.

Bitter stomach acid floods my mouth as I can smell my own flesh burning. Pain has overtaken me and left me a bare shell, unfeeling. I'm returning to ash, back to dust.

I am normal woman. One of many in this town but I was trialed as a witch and sentenced to burn.
There will be others and there will be many more.

I am not the last.

Comments

[shadowsinfire.livejournal.com]

There're a couple of things I think you might want to change;

'fire eating at me slowly. It eats away at me slowly,' ~department of redundancy department.

'There will be others, there will be many more, I am not the last.' ~maybe break up the sentence a little? 'There will be others. There will be many more.

'I am not the last'

On the other hand I really like the second and third paragraphs.

Very scary, very wow.

[grass-angel.livejournal.com]

*gonks at the DofRD*
Will change that for sure.

May change that last line so that 'I am not the last' will be a sentence on its own.

Thank you.

[shadowsinfire.livejournal.com]

Gonks? DofRD? Am I missing something?

[grass-angel.livejournal.com]

A gonk is similar to a headdesk. DofRD is Department of Redundancy Department

[shadowsinfire.livejournal.com]

Ah, gotcha.