[Bleach] understanding

[grassangel]

Title: understanding

Series: Bleach
Character/Pairing: Ichigo/Orihime, Ichigo/Rukia
Rating: PG
Genre: Sentimental (possibly General, possibly romance)
Spoilers/Warnings: IchiOri? Dead/mysteriously disappeared Rukia?
Wordcount: 250
Author's Notes: I wrote an IchiHime. I know. The world must be imploding slowly. I need to go finish some nice fluffy kids!IshiHime. This writing makes me angsty.

Ichigo had never said 'I love you' to her, no matter how many times Orihime said it to him.

He explained to her, once, that he had never said it to anyone since his mother had died. Orihime still said it to him though, a sympathetic look on her face, and Ichigo thought that perhaps she was hoping that someday he would.

Orihime didn't understand.

He had never said it to Rukia either, but she had understood.

---

Whenever she could, whenever she really felt it, she would say those three words to Ichigo.

He never said them back and that never worried her, as she knew the reason why. Orihime knew what grief felt like and would smile and wrap her arms around him, receiving a sheepish smile back as silent thanks for her support.

And Orihime would smile back at him, a flimsy shield for her resentment that she only knew what it felt like, but didn't understand.

She was still jealous of Rukia.

---

She had never expected, never hoped, to hear that phrase from him. He hadn't expected it from her either.

It was stalemate, the closest they ever got to uttering it was a promise that one would always protect the other.

The words had never passed their lips, though it had been clear to both what was lurking at the edges of their minds, words hanging, unsaid, as they battled together.

Rukia hadn't needed to hear that Ichigo loved her, she had known it well enough.

Comments

[keiji-miashin.livejournal.com]

I loved this one. The look at all three, their reasoning and thinking, and just the connections were well illustrated.

One thing I do have to say is, that from reading the fic one gets the impression that it's an Ichigo x Rukia fic, and one does not get the impression that Rukia is dead and that in the 'present' it's an Ichigo x Orihime. I suppose one can say that despite the fic being really good, you dropped the ball and didn't get across what you planned to get across.

Doesn't make the actual fic bad, but it is something to keep in mind for future works. Oh, and just one tiny grammar nitpick.

"...to her, not matter..."
Did you mean 'no' instead of 'not?'

Anyway, this one earns itself a thumbs up.

[grass-angel.livejournal.com]

Oops. Yes, that is meant to be "no matter".

I'm not quite sure what you mean by me dropping the ball and not getting across what I wanted to get across though. The ball dropping early is not a good thing for me, because I like suspending that moment, but I am curious as to what you think my purpose was.
Any more in depth criticism or help is appreciated.

[keiji-miashin.livejournal.com]

Ah, sorry. I was referring to your Author's Notes. There you say that this story is Ichigo x Orihime and that Rukia is dead/gone. I was saying that I didn't get that from this story. If I had read it as a stand alone, without your Author's Notes as reference, then I would have thought the story was an Ichigo x Rukia with Orihime as a side character.

So I was trying to say that the message you were trying to get across and the one the reader gets are almost completely opposite. 'Dropping the ball' refers to the idea that you were trying to accomplish something (balancing the ball) but failed (the ball dropped).

[colorless-ink.livejournal.com]

Wanted to give a sweet congrats on this fic. Short and sweet to the point, it totally got the emotions of Orihime and Rukia and Ichigo through to me. Keep up the great work and I'm looking forward to more!

[grass-angel.livejournal.com]

Now I get you. I got what dropping the ball meant, I was just wondering what you thought the ball was.
I think this is where I probably would've been better off without putting an author's note, or at least such an extensive one. ^^;; Should probably also go mutter my explanations somewhere other than author's notes if I can't do that.

Anyway, thank you for your feedback; this has probably motivated me to be less revealing in my author's notes. (And to er... remove them from this entry.)